DO Something! by Miles McPherson

Author:Miles McPherson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: REL012040
ISBN: 9781441207258
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2009-10-31T16:00:00+00:00

17

Sherrill

Inside-Out Pain

And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works.

—Hebrews 10:24

Sherrill sat on a rusty stool in a shed behind her house. The thirty-nine-year-old waitress was holding a metal paint spatula under the blue flame of a propane torch until it was red-hot. But she wasn’t working on a construction project.

She shut off the torch and rolled up her left sleeve. Scars covered the skin from her wrist to the inside of her elbow.

She had intentionally cut herself with razor blades and knives more times than she could remember. She had burned herself with heated tools and metal files, pressing them into her skin until she could no longer feel the pain.

Being molested for four years by her father had scarred her soul with so much self-hate, it had a mind of its own.

The only reason the molestation stopped was because her dad had a stroke that put him in a coma. But even after he died, Sherrill hated her body. It was the cause of too much pain. She resented being female. After all, if she had not been a girl, her dad would not have molested her—and she would not hurt like she did. She felt dirty and undeserving of anything good. Only pain.

When Sherrill was twelve, a girlfriend showed where she had carved the name of her boyfriend into her arm. The friend asked Sherrill to become her “blood sister,” convincing her it wouldn’t hurt and would be safe. They scratched their wrists with a razor and then pressed the bleeding wounds together.

Something about that pain made Sherrill feel free and powerful— for just a moment. That was the beginning of Sherrill’s twenty-six years of “self-hurt” behavior.

In the kitchen she twirled the glowing spatula in her left hand until the large flat surface was pressed on the skin of her left forearm.

She wanted to blend all of the scars into one large one. But the real reason for such a painful act was deeper than that. It involved her very soul.

Jesus and His disciples walked toward the screams coming from tombs carved into a hill overlooking the Sea of Galilee. A skinny, naked man covered in scratches and scars stood pulling on the chain that tied his leg to a peg in the cave. Broken chains littered the mouth of the cave.

Suddenly the wild man arched his back and howled. Then he ran toward Jesus. The disciples stepped in front of their Lord, but the man fell at His feet first.

The demons that controlled him begged for mercy, saying, “What have I to do with You, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I implore You by God that You do not torment me” (Mark 5:7).

Jesus spoke directly to the demons. “Come out of the man, unclean spirit!” He said (v. 8), and then He ordered them into a herd of pigs that rushed off a cliff into the sea. The wild man was left sitting peacefully at the feet of Jesus.

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